Field Notes · Golf Ball Wisdom
When a Man’s Life Fills in Every Direction
Some weeks do not press a man from one side. His life fills in every direction around him.
This week carried that kind of fullness. The kind where work, family, holiday rhythms, and the quiet battle to be better all move at the same time.
Research on work–family conflict shows that when demands pile up across different roles, mental health often suffers if nothing changes. A man’s mind keeps up. His schedule keeps up. His body tells the truth first.
This is the weight men carry when life fills in every direction at once. It is not loud. It rarely looks like crisis. It often looks like a man doing his best.
It shows up in how he moves through his days with a little less breath than usual. In the effort to be husband, father, provider, builder, and steady presence without losing himself in the process.
The Week That Shows What a Man Is Holding When Life Fills in Every Direction
Missing the last Working Man Golf weekend brought this truth into focus. Five years of marriage deserved my full presence. Not partial attention. Not a rushed check-in between events.
Choosing my anniversary over the event was the right decision. Still, a familiar tension sat underneath. The pull between serving the men I walk with and standing beside the woman who stands beside me. Many men live in that pull without ever naming it.
The week that followed filled quickly. Early mornings at Burn Boot Camp. Pushing my body to be stronger. Joining my wife in a place that makes her smile and invites me to grow.
Kids finishing lacrosse and stepping into basketball. School events. Christmas parades. Doctor appointments. All the movement of family life that never asks if a man has the energy for one more thing.
Research on fathers and work–family conflict has found that when work and home demands keep clashing, fathers report more distress and their families often feel it too. It is not a personal flaw. It is what happens when life fills in every direction with no space to reset. This summary from the Australian Institute of Family Studies outlines how ongoing conflict between work and family can erode fathers’ mental health and affect their children as well.
Less work at the golf course added another layer. Not knowing why made the ground feel a little less steady. Enough to have me looking at remote roles that might line up more honestly with our home rhythm.
A puppy that never stops moving. Children with questions that never end. Holiday culture that never stops promising joy. A wife carrying her own job stress.
This is what it looks like when a man’s life quietly fills in every direction. On the surface, it is a normal week. Underneath, it is a lot.
When a Man’s Life Fills in Every Direction
In the middle of that fullness, another layer of work began to form. A second tier for Working Man Golf. A way to begin teaching kids about mental wellness through the stories their fathers are already living.
Small Shoulders, Big Heart. The phrase landed and stayed. A reminder that children are not built to hold the weight of our unresolved stress. They are meant to inherit our clarity, not our overload.
Studies on parents and mental load show that invisible planning and emotional labor can quietly drain a home, even when nothing looks wrong from the outside. When a man’s life fills in every direction, that mental load can make his patience thinner and his presence shorter, even when he loves his family deeply. You can see this explained simply here: Mental load: the hidden burden of invisible work .
Two sample shirts are already ordered. Simple. Honest. A starting point for a group effort. Not a brand push. A reminder for fathers and kids that strength is not measured in how much weight you can hide.
I sent out a quiet signal to see who felt the pull of this next layer. Men responded. Not with noise. With recognition.
“Our kids learn mental wellness from the way we carry our days long before they learn the language for it.”
The Work Behind the Work
At the same time, there is another layer of work that no one outside the circle sees. Cleaning up the backend structure of Golf Ball Wisdom with a man who understands systems. Making it easier for men to move through the process without friction when they finally raise a hand.
It is not glamorous work. It is necessary work. The kind of structure that lets a mission breathe for the long haul.
Research on mental load suggests that invisible tasks often strain people more than visible ones. The planning. The organizing. The constant mental attention. Men feel this too, especially when they are trying to build something that matters while still holding a full family life.
Between backend work, networking with men who believe in the mission, and the quiet hope of finding partners who want to walk with this over time, the days fill quickly.
Underneath it all is the same steady question. Can I keep giving in all these directions and still live with the calm I am trying to teach?
“A man cannot offer steadiness he refuses to practice himself.”
Carry Less
Finding the Next Shot When Life Fills in Every Direction
When a course feels tight, a good caddie does not tell a golfer to swing harder. He helps him see the shot that keeps him in play.
Weeks where life fills in every direction ask for the same thing. Not more effort. More intention.
For me, that focus is simple this week. Choose the work that draws my family closer rather than stretches me further. Choose the opportunities that align with our actual life, not the imagined one. Choose the next step that brings calm to my nervous system instead of more noise to my schedule.
Research on holiday and role-based stress points toward the same conclusion. Clarity and realistic expectations ease the strain more than pushing through with gritted teeth.
Most men respond to a full life by tightening. Steady men respond by choosing one honest priority at a time.
A Quiet Question for Men Whose Lives Fill in Every Direction
If your life feels like it fills in every direction right now, it does not mean you are failing. It means you are human. It means you care.
The real question is simpler. Where do you need to set something down so you can carry what matters with more steadiness?
I put that question into a simple page for men who want to sit with it honestly. You can walk through it here, or send it to a friend who might need it: Answer the question here .
One man. One quiet question. One honest step.